For fans of Dermapthera, if any, we are now officially disbanded.
Thanks for all your support, if any, because due to some unforeseen circumstances, we are officially not playing as a band anymore.
However, I’ll probably set up the band again, maybe in the near future, with people I can truly trust. I will bring up the name Dermapthera again. I don’t want my dedication to Dermapthera SOUNDED LIKE A BUNCH OF SHIT. Dermapthera has always been everything to me, and now everything becomes NOTHINGNESS.
To ex-Dermapthera, I must say you just broke my heart and my friendship. Thanks for not even bringing up the matter together. You call this a band, yet there’s no mutual understanding. You call this a “bond” and “family”, yet there’s no discussion. You call us “friends”, but I’m now just your enemy.
To Hafix, I thought I could trust you. You were once there deciding the future of the band and the future of our friendship in music together. I trusted you. Yet you don’t seem to care. Or maybe you did, but you didn’t tell me. I dropped you a few SMS, but you didn’t reply. I wanted to call, but I wasn’t available myself. If you think I don’t care, you’re wrong. Just because we don’t stay near each other and I seldom drop you a call, it means I’m uncommitted. Just because we don’t jam, we’re uncommitted. Just because you have too many bands, I don’t understand. Your blood and passion are the same as mine, but it seems that I was betrayed. I was betrayed by someone I could trust. Since our first meeting, our first comp, our first band fight, our first everything, you are just the “middle man”, not wanting to get involved. Thanks for everything. I hope you’ll forget me forever.
To Lee, you are like a brother to me. Even if you don’t know that. I looked upon you as someone I could look up upon whenever I need it. But it seems you have betrayed me too. NOBODY EVER KNEW MY PROBLEMS. Oh ya, I forgot, we’re supposed to share problems together. Did you even bother to ask? The only person who knew my misery is Is. Ask him yourself. I was betrayed at my previous work, and I was betrayed again. Nobody seemed to care. Nobody bothered to even say hi in SMS. I had to dig holes after holes trying to earn some money, so that I could begin building up the band where I left it. I knew it was collecting dust. I kept looking at my worn-out “expensive” guitar, sometimes crying in my heart thinking “when will I ever rock this baby again?” I was desperately working day and night just to fill my mouth. You thought I was joking. Ask Shasha. She had to live without dates for a month. I had to reduce my calls and SMS because I was tight. I wonder what happens if it was you and your GF. She’d probably get bored of you by then. I didn’t want to be a burden to my father who’s pending retirement. You think my Diploma can bring me everywhere. Open your eyes and see for yourself. You’ve just got a friend who’s education is the highest amongst everybody but is not even earning a single cent. You think I didn’t try. You’ve been telling everybody that “it’s whether you want or not”. But it’s not that I don’t, but I don’t have any choice. You don’t know how it feels like to be independent, living without expecting any help from anybody. Or maybe you knew, but you’ll never understand. Ever since my mother passed away 6 years ago, I have been living on my own. I have never asked for any money from anyone, because I never trust anybody. The reason why I didn’t take up upon your offer to buy me the gadget is because I don’t want to feel indebted. I desperately wants (not need) it, but I can’t. I need to look after myself first. And on the FIRST day I secured my job (03/06/2008), you had to deliver me the bad news. Thanks for everything, dear brother, but now I hope you’ll forget me forever. I felt betrayed, as I tried so hard to impress everybody. If noone seems to care, then I shouldn’t even bother thinking about it anymore. You have just killed my passion and dreams. You’ve just destroyed my dignity. You’ve just perished my heart. You’ve just broken my friendship.
I’m just tired. Tired from all the nonsense. I set up Friendster profiles to keep in touch with more friends, if any. I still take a look at MySpace account and comment on international bands so that they’ll visit our site. We have had a few enquiries like “when are you guys releasing a demo?” or “Can you send your demo to the US?”. We’ve attracted a lot of attention, but it seems like I should just tell them to get lost. Dermapthera ain’t going anywhere, especially where the heart and bond are not there anymore.
If you want to claim ownership to the songs we’ve been created all these pitiful years, please let me know. I don’t want to be labelled a “song stealer”, cause I have other better things to do. If you don’t claim ownership, I will assume all songs and tabs are made by ME, and only ME. I will probably use those songs to kick-start a new band, with fresh new ideas and fresh new friends. My old friends ditched me for their ideals, and those ideals just don’t match with mine at all.
To Matin, I have nothing against you. But if you’re even part of this, then you don’t deserve to be my friend anymore. I was betrayed. But if you’re not, please ignore this line altogether.
Thanks once again. Thanks for the support. And thanks for breaking my heart. Please forget me forever.